Got to get you into my life

I've tried very hard not to make all of the things on this list the opposites of the things I said last week that I wanted to eliminate; I think I managed to succeed at least somewhat.

1.  Passion.  I've noticed over the last few years that I don't really have anything that I'm passionate about any more.  I'm not sure why, I just haven't found anything that truly interests me enough for me to feel strongly about for a long time.  I'm not sure how to make passion a part of my life.  I guess I just have to keep trying new things until I find something that works for me.

2.  Direction.  This is pretty related to the above issue, but I don't really know where I'm going with my life.  I know I'm only 21 and I still have tons of time to figure it out, but last year when I was graduating it just felt like so many of my friends knew what they were doing at least for the immediate future, and I'm still not really sure.  I mean, I'm going to law school and all, but I really have no idea whether that's what I actually want to be doing.  I feel kind of lost.  Again, I really don't know what I can do to fix this.

3.  Creativity.  I feel like I've been a little creatively stifled lately.  Part of this is because I don't make enough time for it.  Also, most of my IRL friends are not really creative types, so I don't have people to bounce ideas off of and brainstorm with and collaborate with, or any of that stuff.  I'm going to try really hard to make time to be creative, even if it's only half an hour a day, that would be better than the zero hours I do now.  I've also been trying to get involved in some creative projects online, although Your Pants being down again has put a lot of that on hold.

4.  Fitness.  I'm really not in the best shape, and I know that physical activity helps reduce stress and increase energy and improves sleep quality and all of those wonderful things, so I know I should do it more, but it's just really hard to actually do it.  I took up running this summer so that I could get in shape and then going for a run or something when I was busy wouldn't seem like such a hardship, but I wasn't very motivated about it, so I only made minor improvements.  I should probably join one of the free fitness classes at the university gym, I guess.

5.  Sleeeeeeeeep.  Okay so this is actually mostly a lazy cop-out because I'm tired and I had a really long day and so sleep is something that I want right now but not necessarily in general.  However, with another year of university starting up, I can't help but feel that this will be all too true in the very near future.  I will get this thing in my life by going to bed! ...soon.

PS - Mentioning Your Pants in this post made me remember that we still haven't done anything about getting a new Thursday person.  Obviously this isn't a good time for it, seeing as Your Pants are down, but yeah.  Just thought I'd bring that up.

5 things I'd like to eliminate + 1 rant

1. Drama - Particularly recently, I've noticed that there are people around me who always have extra drama, and seem incapable of solving their own interpersonal problems without and intermediary. Some of these people are family members, so while I certainly can't be rid of the person (and I wouldn't anyway, since that's throwing the baby out with the bathwater), but I can surround myself with people where that isn't an issue. It's really freeing to not have to second-guess what the people closest to me say and do, and be able to take them at face value.

I should probably note, by drama I'm not talking about people worrying over big life issues (paying the bills, getting/keeping a job, etc) I'm talking about things like - and this is a real example - someone getting pissed because for someone else's birthday, a third party wants to go to dinner at a place 20 minutes away and insists that it's closer for everyone, and then complaining about it for a good half an hour and needing two people to calm everyone down and get things worked out.

2. Excess craft supplies - Oh man, this one's really hard, and it's been a big temptation lately. I keep a pretty good sized "project bag", where anything in that bag is something I can work on, and I have to wait until I finish one project before I can put another in. I'm trying to use up my craft supplies before I move in a few months, but I keep seeing interesting patterns and yarns and I reeeeeaaaallly want to work with them. There's not a lot here I can do except keep up my willpower and work on things I already have materials for.

3. Stress - I've been finding lately that I seem to have an almost constant level of stress. It's not a super high level, but enough to damage my immune system and leave me grinding my teeth and getting headaches. I'm the sort of person who always feels like I just need to suck it up, so it's been hard for me to take time for myself and take it easy, but that's really what I need to do to get myself back up to par.

4. Clutter - Partially because of the coming move date, and partially because it feels good to purge my items occasionally, I've been doing a lot of cleaning and organizing lately, both in my digital and physical realms. It's really cool to realize that I genuinely don't need that much stuff, and an interesting challenge to myself to see how well I can organize it and streamline my routines (Cooking for Geeks got me started on this kick; putting things near what they're used with and finding the most efficient ways to store them - seems like common sense, but I definitely don't do this enough!)

5. Internet comment sections - This morning a news/blog compilation I follow posted about how a 9 year old child from Canada with ADHD, Asperger's and ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) was handcuffed by police at his daycare. The jist of the story is that he was being bullied by his peers, got upset (it's not explained what "upset" looked like in this context), was placed by himself in a classroom, and proceeded to barricade himself in and throw paint around. The police were called in and, before a parent arrived, broke through the door and had him handcuffed.

Being in the field of working with kids on the autism spectrum, I was displeased with several aspects of this story. But then I made a major mistake, an internet rookie error: I read the comments. It was interesting to get perspective from people who agreed with the actions of the daycare, but as I went further back in the comment history I started to find comments that were increasingly derogatory toward his conditions, implying or straight out saying that they are non-existent. And then I found one that essentially said that not only is autism not a real thing, it's just kids acting out because of poor parenting.

At which point I stared at my screen in disbelief for a few moments, then slowly closed my laptop before turning into a giant squid of anger and ranting to the nearest person about correlation not equalling causation and how hard parenting is even with a neurotypical child and AAAAAAARRRRRRRGH.

Ahem. Anyway. All that to say, I like being able to interact on the internet, so maybe it's not the comments system I want to get rid of. Instead, I'd just like some civility, thoughtfulness, and understanding.

Things that need to go

It was really hard to think of 5 things to get rid of in my life but here they are.

1. Procrastination. I'm really bad for procrastinating. If I could get paid for it I'd be a millionaire. It's really stops me from doing the things I want to and the the things I need to do. I need to get rid of this bad habit if ever really want to do something my life.

2. unemployment. I job would be really great right now. My bursary for college can only cover so much and that little extra from a job would be so good. Despite how easy it seems to get rid of unemployment, it has proven to be far more difficult than expected.

3. No creativity. I've had a real art block recently where I've like nothing I've done. Part of my lack of creativity is down to number one on this list, where I've been spending far too much time on the internet and not much time outside, watching movies or looking at art or getting any form of creative inspiration. I've started working on some really interesting stuff so hopefully that shall help get me more creative angin

4. Blackberry. I really hate mine. It's a lousy smart phone doesn't do anything smart. at the most it functions well for texting and phoning, twitter at a stretch. I know to this problem I should just get a new phone but I got mine on a two year contract, so I'm stuck with it.

5. Brad Pitt. Now I know this seems like I am about to bash him but I'm not. So if you didn't know Brad Pitt is going to be in the film adaptation of World War Z. (I've hear it nothing like book) And some of it being filmed in Glasgow as a cheap alternative to actually filming in Philadelphia. And I've seen the set and it's all really cool seeing all the cars and fire trucks and American traffic lights and street signs. But the set is George Square, which is right next to my college and that I'm back the set is a huge annoyance to get past becasue it's closed the whole square off and there are tons of people gathered round all hoping to catch a glimpse of Brad. Thankfully the filming is only going to last another week or so and then Brad Pitt will be out of my life.

Elimination

Five things I would like to eliminate from my life, and how I would get rid of them:

1.  Fear.  I'm not scared of things like spiders or heights or anything, but I'm terrified of major life changes and meeting new people and being wrong and lots of those sorts of things.  I know I can't really get rid of these fears completely, but I can make it more manageable.  I need to learn to figure out when my fear is rational an when it's not, and if I'm afraid of something that I can't control, or that isn't really a big deal and I shouldn't be afraid of in the first place, I need to learn to let it go.  If I'm afraid of something I can control, I need to do what I have to do to make the situation work out in a way that I don't need to be afraid of it.

2.  Indecision.  I have a hard time with making choices.  I especially tend to have problems with the small choices that I don't really care which option I go with, so I just don't decide and end up being paralysed by the indecision.  I can eliminate this by recognizing when the decision is insignificant and just going with my gut response rather than over-analysing it to try to find the best option when there really isn't a best option.

3.  Procrastination.  I've gotten quite bad about this one over the past few years and it really does affect my life.  Wasting time on pointless things not only hurts my academic life, it also cuts down on the amount of time I have to do social or creative things.  I have some methods of cutting down on procrastination, like the StayFocusd extension for Google Chrome, and using a timer to make sure my breaks are reasonable.  These are usually effective for awhile, but I can only go so long before I give in and go back to my old habits.  So, to help get rid of procrastination, I'm going to try to make myself busy enough that I literally don't have any time to waste.

4.  Self-doubt.  This one is a lot harder to get rid of.  I need to change that little voice in the back of my head to be a little bit nicer.  I may not be perfect, but I am capable; I just need to be convinced of that all the time instead of just some of the time.

5.  Not asking for help.  I have a hard time asking for help even when I need it; I always feel like I'm imposing too much on people, even though I don't mind if someone asks me for help and I know that other people won't mind either as long as it's something reasonable.  Something about asking for help just makes me feel incompetent, I guess.  There's really no way to get rid of this problem except for just doing it, so that's kind of hard.  I don't really have a plan for dealing with this one.

The Forgetful Five

In the world there are probably many things I would get rid of. So here are the top five I would want to get rid of or at least forget the existence of.

1.) Homework. I've heard a lot about studies that say around 90% of homework given that doesn't not directly relate to the student's individual needs is ineffective in their learning. I agree. Never have I received an assignment that was useful to my learning. In fact, three years ago I took a Latin class and I remember every single declension, noun, verb, form of conjugation along with all the grammar. But the teacher never once gave out a homework assignment. My plan to get rid of homework is to graduate.

2.) 1337. There is no way in the world that sort of typing is okay. WHY and HOW is that any way an acceptable form of writing? How on earth can anyone understand that?

3.) Extended Essays. International Baccalaureate requires one for the IB diploma. I made the horrible mistake of wanting to write my 4000 word essay in biology. I have not done a single thing to work on it. The Cambrian era's evolution is not as good a topic as I thought it'd be.

4.) Remakes. Honestly, I'm getting sick of all the movie remakes going on. It's like no movie for the past five years I've been paying attention has been an original one. And the ones that are original are so full of cliches and bad puns I can't always tell where the plot went, because all the effort went into another remake.

5.) Spring mattresses. I hate them. my bed has a really bad spring mattress and I can't get a new one. It pokes me every time I try to sleep. it is the most uncomfortable thing in the world and I want it gone. I would sleep on the floor if it weren't for the fact I'm too lazy to clean it.


So those are the five things I would immediately get rid of. Just small things that I have to face frequently.

Emma/Eliza

As with the rest of you, my name is fairly common, and I've always had the urge to change my name to be a little more set apart - particularly in junior high when I was super quiet and several popular girls were named Rachel, so often times when I'd hear my name and look over it would be followed by "oh, sorry, I meant the other Rachel" which stung a lot. As an adult, when I worked in an unfortunately over-dramatic job environment, hearing my name said in a mean or condescending tone over and over made me hate it (I swear it was actually spoken differently, with the "Ra" part being over emphasized and blunt, the "chel" becoming slurred like "chullll", to create a rather unfortunate sound. Who wants that for their name? Ick)

I mention this because I think it's funny, but when I was about 7 or 8, I used to think a lot in pictures; all the days of the week had their own pictures (Thursday was the logo of Star Trek, since we watched it on those nights), and for some reason I got it into my head that the name Nicole was associated with a popsicle. Don't ask me how that happened, I have no idea, but it made me want to change my name to that (hey, I was like 7!). But then I ended up getting bullied by a girl with that name later, which ended that.

And really, that's the problem with a lot of names. Particularly since I've worked in a lot of classrooms, I have a lot of name associations, so it's hard to find one that isn't either too uncommon or has an association with someone else. I have two names I'd have a hard time choosing between; the first is Emma. It's easy to say, (I have one kid who still calls me "Range-ul" because she can't pronounce the "ch"), has a simple nickname of Em, but still sounds nice in its full form. The other is Elizabeth, since I love the name Eliza (and, if I decide I don't like it, I have all sorts of names I could revert to: Beth, Liz, Liza, Ellie).

Yes Sarah, I kinda stole yours. Hey, great minds think alike!

So what are we thinking for next week's theme? I really like what are 5 things you could live without and how do you go about getting rid of them/5 things you do want in your life and how do you get them, as well as something you'd like to try.

What do you guys think?

Luisa

Unlike Sarah and Kaite, my name is very common where I am but I still dislike Sophie. To me it's a baby name, a name for a little a girl so I feel that I have out grown my name a bit. Technically, my name is Sophia but again I dislike this name .

I guess if I had to chose my own name I'd chose something more Italian because I'm very proud of my heritage and I don't think my name really shows that off well. Maybe a name like Luisa. It's a name that I have very recently liked, it was meant to be the middle name of one of my aunts but my papa got it wrong on the birth certificate and spelt it Louisa, and I think that's a funny story and that's part of the reason I'd like it.

I also know that a name my mum was think of calling me was Victoria and I've always kinda loved that name. I think it' a big, grand name. I wouldn't say I'm either of those things but I'd like a name that had some sort of importance to it. Also I think Vicky would be a really nice nickname.

PS. sorry this is late, I did start on Wednesday I just forgot to finish it.