Some Musings on Exams

I'm going to come clean about something here: I enjoy writing exams.

I hate everything leading up to them. I hate the studying. I hate all the stress. I hate the pressure of having most or all of my mark come from a single evaluation. I hate not knowing what's going to be waiting for me in the exam room.

But once I get there, that all fades away. It's just the right amount of pressure to push me to an ideal mental state. When it comes down to just me and the exam, it's nothing but a fun academic puzzle that I get to sort out. I love it.

I'm especially enjoying exams right now because most of my classes are 100% finals, so I haven't had many opportunities to test my knowledge over the course of the term. But now, when I went in to write those exams, I had the sudden, whooshing realization that I actually did learn a lot of stuff this year. It was really satisfying, especially since I've been questioning all year whether law school was the right decision, and that realization went a long way toward making the decision feel justified.

I also had this moment while I was in the exam room where I just became very aware of everyone around me and how hard all the 100 or so people in the room working at that moment. Everyone, at the same time, pouring their knowledge onto the page, answering the same questions, seeking the same answers. Even though it is a competition, even though everyone hopes at least a little bit that everyone else does poorly to push themselves higher up the curve, at that moment it really felt like we were all in it together. Whatever differences we had throughout the year, whatever anyone thinks of anyone else, when we were in that exam room, we were all on the same team, we all wanted the same thing. It was a really powerful and positive feeling and I wish that education, or even just life, could have moments like that more often.