Hi

I'm not sure what we're doing. Are we still doing this? I'm writing a short post here just in case we're still doing this.

Maybe it would be better to just let the blog die quietly after Sarah's last post. But you said it wasn't an obituary, so I'm not going to let it be one.

I'm not sure what else to say at this point. Since I am mostly writing this post for the sake of writing a post, it seems pointless to even bother trying to say anything. Maybe I've already said enough. I think I will stop there.

This has been a post.

What can I say?

Rachel, it's been so wonderful having the opportunity to get to know you through the blog. We've all had a great time with this I'm sure. And we'll miss you. I love how you were honest with us about how you felt and what you wanted instead of just ditching us in the dust. It's an admirable quality that a lot of people don't have.  And it's been difficult as of later for all of us to keep up with the blog, we all have so much going on in our lives at the moment.

Here's to a year and a half of awesome with you!

Of course we'll keep in touch, after that long a time how can we not? We are the Sisterhood of Nerdfighteria even if we aren't posting. I feel we should still have that connection.

You haven't forgotten to be awesome.


(why does this feel like an obituary? please don't treat this like an obituary)

BA

-Sarah K

Super Quick Post

I don't have internet at home at the moment, so I'm just making a quick post on my lunch break at work.

The only real update I have since last week is that I moved into my new apartment over the weekend. Unfortunately the day I moved was pretty much the muggiest day in the history of mugginess, so it felt like twice as much work as it actually was, but everything's all moved and now all I have to do is unpack.

I really like my new place a lot, and I kind of like moving because it's a good excuse to de-clutter and re-arrange and it just feels good to have a bit of a fresh start. My roommate hasn't moved in yet (which might be a good thing, since I kind of have boxes of stuff all over the kitchen floor at the moment), but I can't wait to live with my best friend again.

Well, like I said, this is just a short fast post, so that's it. Hope everyone has a splendiferous week!

Tried to write this last night, fell asleep

Not writing a story post because so much has happened that I wanted to tell you guys about it.  This is scattered with subjects.

Last Monday some anonymous deviant gave me a Premium Membership for a year. I was incredibly surprised, thought they had made a mistake, spent hours trying to figure out who on Earth would think I deserved such a thing because I'm not all that great or even consistent in uploading art. I thought it might have been one of my old teachers because I know he's still pissed at me for not taking higher level art in school.

 Then I figured the best course of action would probably be to upload more because they probably didn't give it to me so I could ponder about it for the whole year.

Next, my entire family came over. My aunt and uncle and cousins who live in London, cousins from California, New York, my grandparents, everyone but my dad's side of the family was there so it was huge. I had a graduation party and they all crowded the patio along with the less than ten people I had invited. Sometimes I wonder if it was actually my mom's party. And it probably is more her party because she's sending her first kid off to college. She completely went overboard on the decorations and balloons. AND GIANT CAKE. Of which more than half remains.

I wonder about the morality of letting small children inhale helium. But then again I can't talk because I also inhaled helium and don't want my voice to ever be that high again.

Pushed all infinity of my little cousins on the giant buoy swing we have in the back yard, I swear I pulled a muscle because all they wanted was "HIGHER! HIGHER!" I was dripping sweat by the time I had given them each a turn. They didn't want anyone but me to push them. They then decided that they should give me a turn on the swing and push me all together. I was so scared that I would hurt them because I had so much more weight than they did and I would slam them into the tree.

Once it got dark we broke out the glow sticks, my friend, Justin, turned himself into a stick figure in the dark with them. It was great. We then played clue, awfully, and walked about two miles to the bay where we saw none of the Perseid shower.

It was fantastic.

This week I'm quitting my job at the bookstore because I absolutely cannot stand working for Tim. He's rude and can't keep track of my pay, can't remember when he wants me to work, changes his mind about it all the time. And just UGH. I want to work somewhere where I can be sure about getting paid, have some control over my hours and actually know that those are indeed my hours. I also have to pack for college next weekend and I would like to spend some more time with my cousins and volunteer at the mspca.

Finally I've been busy going to the doctor again. She wants me to go back to Children's in Boston to see a specialist because my symptoms of when I was really sick are coming back again. I feel like such a hypochondriac because the first illness to always pop into my mind is cancer even when I know it isn't and yet I still get worked up about it.

At least I've seen someone and made and appointment for it, it would be far better than once at school trying to work up the courage to see a doctor I don't know and even if I do go, try and explain all everything to them and have them understand that it isn't just a bug.

So that's been everything that's happened so far. It's been a little crazy with fun and anxiety. I totally left out being assaulted by drunk guys at the drive-in with friends or having an anxiety attack in the pouring rain after a no-damage car accident and the nice state trooper who calmed me down.  That would have made this thing a novel.

DFTBA
have a great end of the summer. :D

Stuff and Things

Since it worked out that I was the last one to do a story post, I didn't want to do another one, so I'm just taking a free week this week. The rest of y'all can do whatever you want. :)

(Also, I wasn't sure if we were going to do Sarah's suggestion of listing off options for directions the story could take; if anyone wants that just let me know and I'll add some on my last post.)

It's actually been a while since our last free week, so I guess I do have some stuff to talk about. I finally started working. I got a job at the local community college working in their Employee Relations office, which deals with employee grievances, student complaints against employees, and bargaining with unions. I'm kind of disappointed about the whole thing, really. From what we talked about at the interview, they said it would be part photocopying/filing, part database work, and part research. I've been there slightly more than half the total time I'm hired for and so far it's been all photocopying/filing. I know that it makes sense to hire students to do that stuff, and I don't mind doing some of it, but after four straight weeks it's getting pretty old, and I'm upset that they misrepresented what the job was when they were hiring me. On the bright side, though, at least I'm getting paid, and have something to put on my resume, and have new people to be references. Not to mention a reason to leave the house on a regular basis.

Speaking of house, I'm going to be moving very soon, probably this weekend coming up. I'm reeeeeally excited about it. This is mostly because I'll be moving back in with my best friend/former roommate, who I've missed a lot this past year that we didn't live together, even though we did still hang out fairly regularly. Partly it's also because I don't really like two of the three people I currently live with, so I'm looking forward to getting away from them. It's not like we hate each other or anything, they just have some habits that I'm not crazy about... like slamming doors, or taking my food, or having their loud drunk friends over at 3 am, or not checking with the rest of the house before inviting someone to stay with us for two weeks. So, yeah, it will be nice to get out of here. Though I'm not really looking forward to the actual packing and moving and unpacking.

About a month ago now I volunteered at the Jazz Festival, which was so much fun. It's my favourite festival in the city, all the music is always so good and I love getting to be a part of it. Not to mention getting to see the shows for free in exchange for doing something as simple as selling tickets or emptying garbage cans. The two highlights of the festival for me were Mike Essoudry's Mash Potato Mashers, who put on a heck of a show, and Besh o droM, whose show ended up being the most massive dance party.

There was something else on my mental list of topics to discuss, but I seem to have forgotten what it was, so I guess I'm gonna wrap up there. Hope the rest of you are doing well!

Books and the Basics

“Oh no, no, of course not,” Mintten quickly assured her. “We’re just using fusion as an energy source. You see, you use a bit of magic to get it started, and then the fusion reaction carries on and produces large quantities of magical energy that we can syphon off into other spells. Kind of like you humans and your… electersea.”

“Electricity,” Claire corrected. She looked to Iggy and asked “is this true? The fusion’s just for energy?” Even though he wasn’t nearly as agreeable as Mintten, she still trusted him more. Maybe because she’d met him first, or he was just too stubborn and grumpy to be a good liar, or because she felt like Mintten’s explanation was just a little too convenient.

“Look, never you mind about that,” said Iggy. “There’s no way I’m letting you get involved with it. Letting an untrained magician like you have access to that kind of power? That’s one of the worst ideas I’ve ever heard.”

Claire noticed that he hadn’t confirmed or denied what Mintten had said, and decided she would try to look into this on her own if she got the chance. “Okay, so if I’m not going to be helping with this, what will I do?”

“I think the best plan is for me to give you what training I can, and we’ll do some research to see what we might be able to come up with. Alright?”

Claire started to respond before realizing that this was directed at Mintten. The two dwarves stared each other down for a moment. Mintten broke first. “Fine. But I expect you to get her trained as fast as possible.”

“Very well. Come along, Claire, we’d best get at it, then.”

“Goodbye Claire,” said Mintten. “I’m sure we’ll meet again soon.”

“No doubt. Goodbye!”

She followed Iggy away. Just as they reached the entrance, Mintenn called after them “Oh, and Ignatius?”

Claire’s companion paused and turned back for a moment. “Yes?”

“I think it’s best if we keep this just between us for now, don’t you agree?”

Claire tried without success to read the facial expressions that passed between the two cousins during the moment of silence before Iggy responded, “Yes. Of course.”

Then he hurried away, out of the little room and back across the crowded work hall to the tunnels. Claire followed after him, trying desperately not to trip over any dwarves or their work. “So our first order of business is to get to the library,” Iggy explained as he led her down one of the tunnels. “We can set the librarians to doing research into human magic for us while we’re getting you trained in the basics.”

“But didn’t you just agree not to tell anyone about what I can do?”

“Yes, well, I don’t have to tell them that part. Don’t you worry.”

The library was not nearly as big as Claire had expected it to be; she had imagined vast caverns filled with shelf after shelf of ancient tomes. Instead, Iggy led her into a smaller chamber, slightly smaller than her house. At a desk by the doorway sat two elderly dwarves, both looking like they were more asleep than awake. They startled as Iggy and Claire approached, and stared wide-eyed at the human visitor.

Iggy cleared his throat until the pair shifted their attention to him. “Oh! Master Montgomery, forgive me,” exclaimed one of them, standing up and bowing to him. “What can I do for you?”

“I need anything you can find on human magic. I was spellcasting out in the woods when this fool came along and ruined all my hard work. I’m hoping there will be some sort of human spell I might be able to modify in order to undo what harm she’s done.”

“Yes, of course, sir, I’ll get right to work. I’ll let you know as soon as we’re done.”

“Thank you.” Iggy turned and walked away, ignoring the bowing that carried on as he left. Claire followed him out, slightly bemused by the interaction.

“You really are important around here, aren’t you?”

“Yes, well. I suppose. The Grand Chief Warlock is due a certain amount of respect.”

“You didn’t act as though you really appreciated that respect.”

“From that fuddy-duddy? I’ll appreciate it when they find what we need.”

“Well surely that shouldn’t take too long,” Claire mused. “There aren’t many books in that library, are there?”

 “We have two libraries here. The other is much larger, and contains all of the books on building, science, and the so-called ‘practical spells.’ The one we were just at is only for history and the more obscure magical arts. I’m afraid these topics have fallen out of favour; these days they are mainly of interest to warlocks like myself.”

Just then, he turned down another tunnel which led to a small chamber. “Here we are!” He sealed the heavy stone door behind them, and Claire felt as though the weight of the whole mountain where pressing in on them. She looked around. Against one wall was a small desk with books and scrolls stacked neatly on it, and a sort of cabinet with many small drawers. The rest of the room was bare.

“Where is here, exactly?”

“This is my study,” Iggy explained. “It’s where I come to practice magic and work on spells. It’s not too close to anything else, in case anything goes wrong, and there is a thick layer of rock on all sides, to absorb the magic safely. Now. Are you ready to begin training?”

Over the next few hours, Claire started to learn magic. Some of it was the theoretical basis: Ignatius explained about magic energy and how it could be concentrated by the mind and released through the words and movements. The first real magic she learned was more about not using magic; Iggy taught her a spell that would essentially put a stopper on her magic until she spoke the words that took it off. Once she had mastered that, they moved on to a spell that would prevent souls from returning to the world after they’d died. Claire really didn’t see how this was ever going to be useful, but Iggy said it was very important in all the ancient human magic he’d studied. Since it was one of the few human spells that he knew, she just went along with it, figuring it was better than not learning any magic.

Before she had completely mastered this spell, however, Claire started to lose her focus. Eventually even Iggy agreed that perhaps it would be best if they took a break to eat, and led her to the great hall where most of the dwarves ate together. The dwarves might call it great, but to Claire it looked a lot like a high school cafeteria, except carved out of stone and with long wooden tables. Even the food was the same suspicious looking slop, though Claire was pleased to find that it tasted much better.

They took a seat with three dwarves, relations of Iggy’s, who he introduced as Lucinda, Hansofer, and Percadence, all of whom worked with Mintten in the workshop they’d visited that morning. They were all very curious about Claire, and hoped to be the ones to spread the gossip on her to their fellow workers, but she was equally curious about what information she might be able to get from them.

Different Magics

"Hi Claire," Mintten said with a broad grin. Apparently not all dwarves felt the same as Ignacious about humans. "You're here to help?"

"Sure," replied Claire. "What can I do? I'm not very strong, I don't have a trade, and I haven't practiced magic."

"Well, if worst comes to worst we could always have you get the stuff on the highest shelves for us, but I have something else in mind for you," Mintten explained as he began walking with Claire into an alcove she had to duck to fit into, with Iggy slightly behind them and grimacing disapprovingly at his jest about height differences. These two certainly were different from each other.

The room they found themselves in was an organized mess; papers and files were stacked neatly, often with a top paper with a note scribbled on top denoting what the stack contained, but the entire room was filled with these neat papers. Claire moved carefully to avoid knocking any over, and Mintten quickly moved papers off a bench to accommodate her.

"Here you go, that should ease the strain of bending your neck. You're going to be in here for awhile. You see, our magic is a highly precise matter; the way the words are pronounced, the hand movements, and even where the eye is looking and the mind wanders all matter. A slight difference in any of those areas can create a very different result, and as such we have teams that map out exactly what the spellcaster should do, then have someone train them in each part separately to make sure they can complete their task when the time comes."

"Oh, I think I get it. You mean like -" here Claire pretended to hold a wand in her hand, and did a random squiggly gesture "-expelliarmus!" and a pile of ink pens on the other side of the room exploded in all directions. All three stared at the new splot of ink with eyes bulged.

Slowly, Iggy and Mintten turned back to Claire, who was now staring at her hand as she turned it around. "I, er... was that a strong wind or something?" she said hopefully.

"No, that certainly was not! Where did you learn that?!" Iggy exclaimed.

"I... it was a human book, it was just pretend! Just a silly story about kids that end up being wizards..." here Claire trailed off, staring distrustfully at her hand.

"Come, give the girl a break," Mintten said soothingly. "I remember when you first discovered your magic, Nacious, you started crying when you accidentally set your favorite toy on fire even though you'd even seen my parents do magic." Turning to Claire, he continued. "Discovering that you have magic is unsettling at a very young age, it must be very strange now that you're older. It's nothing to fear, a small percentage of humans still possess it but even most of them don't realize it."

Sitting down on the bench, Claire leaned her head back into the cool cave wall and closed her eyes, without even saying anything to the dwarves. She just needed to process for a couple of minutes. Ignacious and Mintten seemed to understand, and turned to a set of plans in the opposite end of the room, murmuring quietly except when an occasional comment like, "oh don't be stupid, the illithium would unbalance the fusion reaction" could be heard by Claire.

After a few minutes - or atleast it felt like a few, but Claire couldn't be sure if she'd fallen asleep - Claire opened her eyes. Her head was clearer, and she was sure about what she was going to do. She would try to get some magical training from Iggy, and she would help the dwarves to fix whatever she'd messed up. For now, past that didn't matter; this was certainly a life altering moment, but dwelling on that right now wouldn't be helpful.

"Ok," Claire said firmly, loudly enough that the dwarves looked over at her. "Let's get the elephant out of the room. I have magic. Can you train me?" and here she looked at Iggy, who looked slightly sheepish but mostly defensive.

"That's beyond my expertise. Your magic is much different than mine, and from my study of history and ancient humans I can only teach you a few small things, like how to make sure nothing happens accidentally."

Taking a deep breath, her plan already derailing, Claire continued. "Ok. That would be helpful. Now, where are those dwarves you want me to help with spells?"

"Whoa, whoa, let's back up here." Mintten warned, taking a step toward her. "First of all, we don't know what making those motions and saying those words would do in human magic, so that's already out the window. Secondly, and most obviously, you're magic! You won't be back here behind a desk, I'll be putting you right up front to build the - "

"Mintten!" Iggy hissed."

"Be quiet, cousin," Mintten said sternly. These two did not mix well. "This is a magical human. We can use any edge we can get against the Gnomicon."

"The Gnomicon? Who's that?" Claire asked.

"Gnomes, pixies, and dwarves have never gotten along," Iggy explained. "We lived in a tense peace for many years, but about 175 suns ago the pixies and gnomes teamed up and have been making our lives difficult."

"But I overheard you guys talking about fusion reactions. Please tell me you aren't making a weapon?"

Not Story

I feel far too over whelmed by the thought of trying to continue the story, I'm sorry. It's really great and you guys are such brilliant writers. But I read it through today and had no idea where I could with it. There were probably endless directions to in but I had no idea where to go.
I really like Iggy and I really like when Claire calls him Iggy, it makes me giggle.

I really want to join in in this theme but I just feel like my creative power is more in drawing and illustrating than in writing. Perhaps if we're still doing this next week I'll attempt a comic like part of the story, if I give myself the time to do it. It could be interesting.

I apologise for this being such a lame post. Hopefully next week I'll have something better.

The hidden city and introductions

Claire found herself being led down some steeper ground that opened up into a tunnel. The edges of the tunnel opening were fortified with stone pillars, which had intricate etchings carved along them in some masterful designs of nature, mountains and depictions of strong-armed dwarves, one holding a staff and the other a hammer. Both of them wore circlets the staff wielder's was bolder and more drastic in appearance than that of the dwarf holding the hammer.

"This is our road." Ignatius explained as they got closer. "Not all of it is underground, I know many of you humans have tendency to fear the dark, especially the females of your kind."

Claire bristled at this comment made by the dwarf. "You know that's awfully rude a comment to make to someone you just met, Iggy, and extremely misogynistic."

"Well excuse me," Ignatius replied sarcastically, "Forgive me for misunderstanding, there's no need for fancy words, you're still far too unlike our women." Ignatius started to jump up ahead now, putting Claire in the dust as the entered the tunnel or road as Ignatius called it. "And don't call me Iggy!"

The tunnel was dark and Claire stumbled to keep up with Ignatius who moved quite fast for having such little legs. She started to fumble in her satchel for her light, she never had an opportunity to use it, but her dad always used to make her carry one around. Claire had just grasped it when light flared up ahead of her. Ignatius had lit an orb of bluish green flame in his hand.

"You may find my comment insulting, but there is the fact that humans can't see in the dark like we can." He said, hinting at apparently he had no problem in the dark and this light was just his own mercy towards Claire. Adjusting to the light and observing the stone walls around her, Claire decided to ask some questions relevant to the situation.

"So, Igg-Ignatius," She corrected not wanting to annoy him while she was asking for information. "What kind of spell were you trying to cast on that boulder?"

"It was the beginning of some alchemical and transfiguration spells I needed to use."

"So why crack it?"

"I needed to know just what type of rock it was and if it was compatible with our overall goal."

"Which is?" Claire prompted.

"Classified." Ignatius finished.

Okay, that was awkward. Claire thought to herself as they now walked in silence down the tunnel. Weren't you supposed to be able to tell what kind of rock something was just by looking at it? Maybe there were some properties she couldn't see because she wasn't a dwarf, or magical, or maybe geology was a lot more complicated than she thought.

The tunnel began to swoop upward after a little while longer of silent walking, and soon the glow of daylight began to filter in and the Ignatius' spell-light was no longer necessary for her to find her way. The "road" really did look like a road now, well road to a dwarf, cobbled pathway to a human. The land looked more like they were nearing inhabited area and Claire noticed that they were much closer to the base of the mountains then they had been previously.

"The road goes under terrain that would be more difficult or time consuming to pass through topically." Ignatius offered when he found her staring at the scenery.

Claire just let out an "oh" in response to that, the whole thing was still sinking in but with more effect now that she was just walking around in a dwarf-made structure with an actual dwarf and then another question popped into her brain.

"Hey, Iggy, I know I offered to help fix what I messed up, but what exactly can I do to help fix it?" She slipped up on the name and was hoping he wouldn't mind. She was really fond of her nickname for Ignatius and wanted him to let her use it.

"Well I'm not precisely sure," He ignored the name, "The rock that's compatible with our purpose is rare and cant be contaminated once the spell sequence, or ritual is the proper term for it, starts. I'm not sure that particular boulder can be fixed. But I'm sure we can find something for you to do."

They continued walking and they started seeing sparse stone huts and what looked to be taverns, they were all quite small compared to Claire's versions of houses and restaurant, but that was to be expected with people so much smaller than her, their scale would be smaller, if only a little bit, than hers. Claire even started noticing other dwarves, though not many.

"Where is everyone?" She finally asked as they started getting deeper into the town/city. The base of the mountain was coming into view and she could vaguely see that something large was carved into it, almost like a building that was part of the mountain itself. Actually, it looked like that was just it.

"They're all volunteerin' at the manor, that's where our headquarters is."

Headquarters? This must be a major thing I'm involved in then. That must be what was carved out of the mountain side. How has no one noticed any of this? Do they use magic to hide it?

"I want to introduce you to Mintten, he's our Grand Chief Mason of the Turnip Clan, my cousin."

"No long and over glorious name to add to his title?" Claire teased him.

"He does not take part in our tradition..." Ignatius grumbled under his breath. Claire could not help but giggle, obviously this trait of Mintten's bothered him deeply.

And within minutes they had come before the intricately carve mountainside where there was a definite bustle of life and shouts. Plenty of them stopped short to see the giant human entering with their Grand Chief Warlock and Claire almost stopped short just because of the crowd of people she was likely to trip over.

"Come along," Ignatius huffed impatiently. He led Claire through the crowd and up to the main entrance way where another dwarf, dressed much more like a skilled worker and had muscled arms and a broad chest compared to Ignatius' ornate hat and burlap clothes had just sent away some dwarves with orders.

"This is Mintten," Ignatius said shortly, "Mintten, this is..." Ignatius fumbled a bit.

"Claire," She offered realizing she had never introduced herself.

"This is Claire,"

Diplomacy and Dwarven Problems

"A spell?" Claire murmured. That certainly explained the strangeness of the whole situation. A warm boulder split in half by a tiny, ridiculous looking dwarf certainly sounded more like magic than any other rational explanation.

"Ugh, humans," Ignatious said with a roll of the eyes. "Just because you have forgotten the easy way to get things done doesn't mean the rest of us have!" Despite his stature, he seemed to be able to constantly be looking down at Claire. 

"I came here to read and have some quiet time, I only came over to investigate when I heard the crack." Crouching down to be closer to his height, Claire continued. "So what was this spell for anyway?"

"It doesn't matter anyway now, it's ruined!" Ignatious snapped. "You humans are always too curious for your own good!" 

Tired of his condescension, Claire lifted him up by his collar - gently, despite her annoyance - and brought him to eye level with her. "You may have magic, but I have other things I can use. Let me help you fix this," she said in her most diplomatic tone.

Crossing his arms, Ignatious let out a sigh. "Fiiiine. Since it's already ruined, it's not like you can make it worse anyway. But first. Put. Me. Down."

After being returned to solid ground, Ignatious took a moment to readjust his clothes and bright hat, then began walking in the opposite direction from where Claire had come. "Here, it's easier just to show you."

"Great!" Claire exclaimed, leaping up to follow him. Books and relaxation were all well and good, but how often would someone ever get to help a magical dwarf? This rivaled some of her favorite fantasy stories, and she would not be letting this chance escape her easily. "I'll do my best to help you, I know we'll make a great team, Iggy. Can I call you Iggy?"

Looking back at her beaming face, Ignatious raised an eyebrow. "No. Hurry up."

"Sure thing, Iggy!" Claire giggled as she caught up to him. Her smile turned into open mouthed awe as she took in the scene.

"Wow." 

Story Part 2!

Claire was immediately snapped awake by the noise. She froze, perched on the boulder, listening for more noises. After a few moments passed in silence, she slid to the ground as quietly as she could and swung her satchel over her shoulder. She retrieved her book from where at had slipped out of her grasp and tucked it back into the bag. Checking to make sure she had gathered everything, she cautiously headed in the direction that the noise had come from.

Picking her way carefully through the undergrowth, Claire soon found the source of the noise. There, straight ahead of her, was a boulder, at least twice the size of the one she'd just been sitting on. This one, however, was split in two. She could tell from the way the colour and texture of the sides that had split were different from the outer surfaces that it must have just happened.

Well, that wasn't normal. Enormous boulders didn't just split in half of their own accord. She glanced around the area, searching for a cause, but didn't see anything out of the ordinary. She approached the boulder to examine it more closely. It was a clean break, there were no other fragments of the boulder lying on the ground nearby. She reached out a hand to touch the broken surface. It was rough, and warm to the touch, as though it had soaked in so much warmth that the energy caused it to break. Surely that didn't happen, did it?

No sooner had she touched the boulder than there was a terrible shriek from behind her. "What are you doing? You've ruined it, you've ruined everything!" someone wailed.

Claire stood up, startled, and whirled around to face her scolder. She didn't see anyone, but then she noticed something hurrying toward her through the underbrush. For a moment she thought it was some sort of animal, maybe a rabbit or a porcupine, but when it stopped in front of her she realized it was a very small person. He  came no higher than her knees, and was dressed in ratty clothes that looked like they were made from a burlap sack. His scraggly black beard hung almost to the ground, and perched on top of his head was the most ornate and ridiculous purple hat Claire had ever seen.

She stared at him in shock, opening and closing her mouth a few times as he continued to harangue her about whatever it was that she'd ruined, before finally managing to interrupt. "I'm sorry, but who are you? And--what are you?"

The little fellow broke off his tirade, cleared his throat, and primly announced "I am Ignatius Theodore Montgomery the Third, Grand Chief Warlock of the Turnip Clan."

"...Turnip Clan?"

"The most ancient and noble clan of dwarves these parts have ever seen."

"Dwarves. As in 'Snow White and the Seven'?"

"Yes, I suppose that's how you humans think of it. You foolish creatures are always getting things like that mixed up. Not to mention traipsing through the woods ruining perfectly good spells!"

Collaborative Story Time?

Okay, I think we're doing story time this week?

I've spent a week trying to think about what I wanted to write and I still can't decide. Time to wing it. I'm leaving the ultimate genre and plot choice to the Katie and I'll just make a setting and one character. Don't want to decide the whole story and take out the option. Also I don't write very often so I'm sorry if this reads like bad fanfiction. I'm better at illustrating things.

The sun had just started to break the overcast of the past two days over a small town situated near the base of a rocky range of mountains. The flatter land before the base was mostly forested with occasional lakes. There were four main roads heading in and out of the town twisting along the lakes and cutting through the mountains.

Closer to the mountains on the outer most edges of the town where the houses of the neighborhoods had no need for fences as the trees gave them ample privacy, Claire, stepped out her back door to the wooded back yard and began pushing her way through bushes and off her property boundaries into the forest. She wore tennis shoes and worn jeans and a light long sleeve shirt, clothes she didn't mind tearing on branches and rocks. She also carried with her a brown satchel containing a book, a journal, a flashlight and a small folding knife her father had given her for her birthday as a child when they went on a camping trip together in the mountains, it was the most useful gift anyone had ever given her and thus she always kept it with her.

Claire was headed for a specific destination in the woods. She had only discovered it about two weeks ago when she was helping her neighbor look for a lost cat. But it had quickly become her favorite destination. The walk there was about half an hour through close-knit trees, uneven ground and a small ravine, Claire usually got a scrape or two going there and back, maybe she'd knock her knee into a vine covered boulder. Despite the bruise she may pay, having her private space in the woods seemed worth it.

It was only when the sky was nearly empty of the clouds that she finally arrived there.

It was a clearing, something not uncommon, but to Claire this one was different. The pillar-like trees toward over the clearing in a near perfect circle, not to big nor too small as speckled light of green and yellow filtered through the tall canopy above. There were three boulders sticking out of the ground in Claire's clearing. She chose the boulder closest to the edge of the clearing, it was slightly damp from the drizzle earlier in the morning, the clouds were gone now and the boulder was drying, not completely dry, but enough that she didn't worry about getting her jeans too wet.

Today what Claire wanted the most was just some peace and quiet to herself. There was a lot of stress lately with bills and work and just being able to live life. And for one day she just didn't want to think about it, Claire didn't want to think at all. And so as she sat on her boulder in the new found sunlight she pulled from her satchel her book. Mindless reading outside was the best way to get your mind off of things weren't they?

It was only when she was lulled into a light doze from reading that she heard a violent and shuddering crack from amid the trees outside her clearing.

And a few notes more

Since my handwriting is awful, I thought I'd type out my nerdfighter notes for easier reading :)

(For An Abundance of Katherines)
My guess is that if you're still reading this, you're the sort of person that likes math and silly jokes. The author, John Green, and his brother Hank have a whole community built around being nerdy and liking this sort of thing, so you should check it out by Googling "nerdfighters" (we're nerds that fight against things that suck, not people who fight nerds. Just making sure.) No matter what your favorite subject or hobby is, there's a group there that would love to squee over it with you.
Don't Forget To Be Awesome!

(For the end of TFIOS)
I know, this book is heart wrenching but funny but OH GOD SO SAD. Still want more? Try visiting onlyifyoufinishedtfios.tumblr.com (password is the last word in the acknowledgements). While you're there, you might notice that there's a lot of us that like to talk about these books and hang out with each other. We're called Nerdfighters, and if you wanna meet some awesome people trying to reduce worldsuck, you should come visit us at nerdfighters.com and we'll all cry again talking about this book :)

(for any book)
Oh hey there! You appear to be reading, or at least flipping through a John Green book. Lucky for you, John Green isn't just an author - he and his brother made a community on the Internet that's all about trying to make the world a better place in small and large ways, love being ourselves, and valuing logic and reason. If that sounds like the sort of thing you want to be a part of, come visit us at nerdfighters.com!

I'll send you the physical copies early next week, Sarah, to get your books all note filled :)

Notes, Nerdfighter Style

I whipped up a few Nerdfighter notes earlier this evening... some of them I just put John Green quotes on, which might seem lazy, but I just felt like they summed up what Nerdifghteria was all about so well.

And the backs of the first three:

Nerdfighter Notes

Seeing as this week's theme is making nerdfighter notes, these are a few notes I plan to be slipping into a couple John Green books. Mine are primarily for people who aren't a part of the community.

1. HEY THERE.
You may be picking this book up because you don't know the story and you think the cover is interesting. You may be picking this book up because you've read a book by John Green previously, and because of this, I think you just might be a Nerdfighter. If you are then HELLO! DFTBA FELLOW NERDFIGHTER.

If you aren't then I would like to say hello and tell you that you would probably fit into our marvelous community and that you should absolutely check out the Vlogbrothers on YouTube, one of whom happens to be the author of this very book. Come join the fun, new person! DFTBA, which means Don't forget to be awesome. It's something of a motto for us.
-Sarah

2. (For The Fault In Our Stars, swing set advertisement scene)

You will never look at swing sets the same way. I know I don't.

All swings seem to be vaguely pedophilic when you think about it.

3. (Last line of TFiOS)

I know you're crying, I was too, and no matter how many times you reread this book and scene and knowing what will happen, you probably won't be able to not. I know I still can't. The feelings this book can invoke in a person are incredible. And then there was that turn with Van Houten, oh wow. This book is made of awesome and I think by now you would agree, and you know what? You're probably made of awesome too.

 You should go share the feels with our awesome community of Nerdfighters. Just Google DFTBA.com and you'll begin to learn what we have and watch John Green and his brother Hank Green on YouTube to really see what they're about and learn about the community.
- DFTBA

4. Don't freak out, it's normal to find a note in a John Green book. It's actually very fun for many of us to find notes in these books, it means we've made a connection to another person who is pretty awesome. I've just connected to you and you've just connected to me, you've also just connected to a vast and brilliant community of awesome so that must mean you're pretty awesome yourself.
Just search for Nerdfighters, you might just find you are one yourself.

Les Femmes

Just remembered that I didn't post this week and was supposed to make up for it now. I guess continuing with the sort of feminist thing, I'll share a video I made in response to Rosianna (missxrojas)'s Annual Ladies Survey. Here's her video:
 And this is my response:

Continuing with the feminism theme

Since Sarah talked about Brave in passing on Monday, I thought I'd follow up with an interesting experience I had with the movie.

I generally pride myself on being able to think through my opinions reasonably, tell you why I think the way I do, and change my ideas if it seems I'm incorrect. You know, basic Nerdfighter intellectual honesty stuff. I'd been very excited to see the movie, but just a couple of days before I went, someone whose opinion I think highly of tore it apart due to claimed misogyny.

(mild spoilers ahoy)
As I went into the theater with my friends, I tried really hard to put aside the review I'd read to judge for myself. But throughout the movie I had a hard time distinguishing whether I was noticing the points the review brought up because I would have actually noticed them, or because they were already in my mind.

I loved some parts of the movie - her kid brothers were awesome (even without saying a single word!), I liked that Merida worked hard to get her great archery skills, the family interactions were hilarious, there's no real "bad guy" but instead a situation that needs to be remedied, and showing that the queen is the one that really runs the show was great as well.

But instead of sitting back and enjoying the movie, I found myself trying to distance myself from it to analyze it and my reactions to it; I won't argue the merits of it here, since that's not the purpose of the post, and I'm still not really sure what I think of it. And that's a really strange feeling for me, especially because now I'm wary to jump into any discussions of it because I'm not sure what's my opinion and what's either confirmation bias or being primed by reading the review first.

Maybe the lesson I'll take from this is: don't read spoiler-y reviews before I see something, just go off the Rotten Tomatoes score or something :P

Feeling A Little Feminist

So we talked about things we could do but we never made a group decision, and I feel that being the first to post each week does not give me right to make the decision for all of us. I feel we should work on this a little.

ANYWAYS because I have no idea what we're doing I'm going to talk about something important to me.

I just saw the movie Brave and can assuredly say that it is most definitely my new favorite Disney movie even though it is still slightly inaccurate in its history. All the other Disney princesses have practically required a romance interest of some sort, but this movie really goes against the traditional Disney plot in showing a young confident lady who has a solid secure reason of not feeling emotionally ready for marriage also the lack of being consulted on the subject as why she does not want to marry.

But this movie reminded me of all the women in history who went against the grain too, not just Joan of Arc or Margaret Thatcher or stories of the Amazons and Shield Maidens. I'm not really counting morality, but really the courage to do things many people would have said had not been possible for a woman to achieve.

I also want to make a quick note before I start this, I was googling historical women, strong independent, badass, etc. Most of the links I got were to fictional women and women of folklore. The closest was most powerful but powerful does not necessarily mean strong and independent. It mostly implies political position.

First off is the lady I linked you guys to on Facebook. La Maupin Julie d'Aubigny. She was born in 1670 and died in 1707 at age 37. But while she was alive she lived a life very free of caution and society rules. She grew up learning the way of the sword and had an amazing talent for singing. She married young but did not live with her husband as she refused to move with him. Her marital status however allowed her some freedom, which she exploited beyond its boundaries.

She had many affairs, with a fencing master, with a man she had bested in a duel, with men and women alike regardless of their social status and she was very public about it. She had worn men's clothing to social events and danced with the other ladies and would seduce them in front of the male aristocrats. And once went so far as to break into a convent, steal the body of a nun, set the place on fire all in order to fake death and run off with the young woman she was currently having an affair with.

Those quirky unique Disney girls have nothing on her.

Then there's the outlaw Pearl Hart in the late 1800's, she was originally from Canada but her life of crime that made her famous took place in the American west. She cut her hair and dressed in men's clothing just like La Maupin, but instead of being famous for seducing everyone she met, she was famous for a coach robbery of a few hundred dollars, which at the time was significant. Though she was caught with her accomplice and sentenced to only five years, she brought fame to prison as the only female in residence and was thus treated incredibly well and was able to entertain guests and reporters. Hell her cell practically had a garden. But either way she managed to persuade her way out of jail in only two years.

After she got free she dropped off the face of the earth, many rumors place her all over even in Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show, her death isn't even certain, one date claims she died in 1955 and another in 1960.

There are so many other women I'd like to write about but I need to not give you guys a novel to read. I'd have loved to include Boudicca in this post or Susan B. Anthony and many suffragettes throughout the women's rights movements.

sources where you can read up more on these women

http://www.legendsofamerica.com/we-pearlhart.html
http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/pearl-hart-holds-up-an-arizona-stagecoach
http://www.eldacur.com/~brons/Maupin/LaMaupin.html
http://www.thecimmerian.com/%E2%80%9Cbeautiful-valiant-generous-and-supremely-unchaste%E2%80%9D-%E2%80%94-julie-daubigny-swordwoman/

ALSO WIKIPEDIA. There are not enough articles on these women. This is a problem with the internet that needs fixing.

Time to Level Up my Art Aspects

Make Up Day

Sorry, I got so distracted on Monday after getting a surprise job interview that has now led to me having a job in a used book store! I'm really happy to finally have some summer employment.

A skill that I would really love to learn is sewing. I can't sew at all, I can't keep a steady pace or a straight line. I don't know the first thing about sewing patterns or using them to create something.

As a cosplayer this is bad for me, I want to be able to make more of my own costumes. I want to learn how to sew period dresses because I love historical fashion and this would help me out so much in the steampunk department.

I also really want to bring up my skill in Arabic. I love languages and being able to communicate with others is really important to me. I speak some pretty good Spanish but only know a couple Arabic phrases. And because I used to live in Saudi Arabia and Jordan people frequently ask me if I speak Arabic, so I think it's time I make good on those expectations, don't you think? I really want to be able to read something other that the Latin alphabet, that sort of lingual challenge really excites me.

Another skill I want to learn is digital art. Right now I'm just sort of messing around, not learning. I want to be able to use the different tools, layer adjustments, settings and textures. I also want to learn story telling through sequential art and story boarding. I'd also just love to learn how to tell a story in general. All those years in English class analyzing stories but never once did we learn the basics of constructing and telling our own stories. This art skill need sort of includes digital photography for me. I want to know how to take a decent photo and adjust settings so they don't look like crap.

So yeah, those are the skills I'd like to learn. They're all in the languages and arts, which may be odd because I'm such a science person. But those are them.

A few good skills

The things I want to learn about/to do are mostly on the practical side. I'd love to be able to speak another language, and am currently beginning to learn French since I'd like to live in Canada, but it's slow going - I forgot just how hard it is to learn another language!

I really enjoy learning specific baking and cooking skills. Partially, it satisfies my curiosity because then I understand the science behind it and how that works, though of course I also enjoy tasting and sharing the results. The current projects that confound me are croissants and puff pastry, as well as meat. In general. I've taken a lot of the meat out of my diet due to finances, so when I end up being in charge of cooking meat, either in the oven or on the stovetop, I'm totally at a loss and have to look up recipes.

I'd love to learn how to sew well. I have some of the basics down, enough to make my own curtains.... but not so much that I didn't make a whole lot more work for myself by sewing parts of it crooked. Whoops! I get intimidated when I'm invited to sew with the other sewing people in my family because it's obvious that I'm very bad at it, but of course if I'm sewing on my own I don't have anyone to troubleshoot projects or offer tips.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to draw and/or paint well, but I've never become very good at it. It's one of those things that would be nice to be able to do, but I'm not so invested in it that I'm willing to take time away from knitting, or the internet, or cooking, etc.

And that, my friends, is my wishlist of knowledge and skills. Enjoy your weekends, and DFTBA!

Italian, Storytelling and the Queen

I was going to say there wasn't really anything I wanted to learn how to do. But after thinking for a while I realised that it was because I'm comfortable in my bubble, learning new things will hopefully push me out and make life more interesting.

Learning Italian has always been on my to learn list. I did at one point attempt to learn it with a friend but it never really worked out. I always feel really bad as a native English speaker that there is foreign people out there who can speak English just as well as can as well as about five other languages. So maybe learning one language will make me feel less embarrassed (and more Italian).

If there was a way to gain the ability to story tell, I would like that. I'm pretty good at orally retelling something that happened to me but I really would like write down some of the stories I have in my head.

On a totally unrelated note I saw the Queen today. Never in my life did I think I would actually see the Queen in real life. It was such a bizarre experience. I knew she was in Glasgow but I didn't go out of my way to see her. I had started some work experience today and I was on my way to get my lunch, when there's a whole bunch of police motorcycles, the girl who I was with and I initially think there's been an accident before it clicks what is happening. And then the royal car comes and the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh are just sitting there. It's one of those moments that is so surreal. I've seen these face pretty much all the time, in the case of the Queen, everyday pretty much. But seeing them flesh and bones, passing by me was just strange. There's no real conclusion to this other me gibbering on about how weird it was.

Knowledge is Happiness

I would really like to learn to speak more languages. I think it would be really interesting to learn something outside of the Germanic/Romance languages, and even more so something outside of the Indo-European language family, but yet I think it would probably be easiest to branch out slowly. I've been saying for the past few years that I'm going to learn Spanish, but yet I never seem to actually get around to doing so.

I would also like to learn to play more instruments. I already do piano, clarinet, and alto sax, but I would like to know more. I think I'd like to add a string instrument to my repertoire - guitar seems like the obvious choice, I guess. I've been thinking about buying a ukelele to start out on, so I might do that. Someday I would really like to learn the cello - I think they're such a beautiful instrument - but it's really not within my financial means right now, so that will have to wait a while.

I guess really one of the main skills I would like to learn is people skills, but I think those ones just take practice. Things like striking up conversations with strangers, or making new friends more easily, bringing up difficult topics of conversation - those are all things that I've just never been good at.

Knowledge-wise, I would like to learn more science. I really liked physics (and math) a lot in high school, but just not as much as arts, so I didn't really get a chance to continue on with them in university. My best friend/former roommate is a physics student, and one of my other former roommates was in engineering, so just being around them and talking about what they were studying helped a little bit, but I would really like to know more. I thought it would be interesting to learn some biology, too, since the only time I ever studied it was learning the parts of the cell way back in grade nine--but I tried watching Crash Course and after a certain point they were just so full of acronyms and unfamiliar words that I always came out feeling more confused than when I started, so I've resigned myself to just not ever knowing biology.

Anyway, as much as I would really like to know everything, those are the most major ones, so I think I'll close out there.

My metaphorical homelessness

Whoops! After suggesting this topic and reminding myself all week to write about it, I totally spaced yesterday. Here's my make up post :)


I've generally had a very strong feeling of "home" throughout my life - it's either been at my parents' house, or at the commune I lived in throughout college. Particularly at the latter, it always felt like home was comfortable, a place to come back to after the busy-ness of the day and relax, be myself, and rest up.

It's a little weird now, because it feels like I don't have much of a home. My hometown is now devoid of my friends, since they've graduated and moved on and the place is left with just lots of memories.

My boyfriend's parents' house is quite nice and comfortable, but since there's a constant internal pressure to make sure I'm looking good in front of his family, I'm always a bit drained there.

And at the place that I actually live, it's someone else's house, so I don't have any agency over it. If it was a roommate situation, I would have some say in things, but even though I'm paying rent here my name is not the name on the lease. It's a situation that's mutually beneficial - I get a little cheaper rent, and they would need someone to be renting anyway - but even though I loaned them the down payment and pay rent, it is distinctly not home. I don't feel entitled to complain (more than a "could you turn that down?") when they have a group of people over and music blaring at midnight on a work night, or tell, rather than ask, that their pet's litter box will be in my room, or take my food, or any number of those small little things that add up to shout "THIS IS NOT YOUR HOME".

I'm a little metaphorically homeless right now. The only place that feels mostly like home is my own small room. Even though it can be altered without my permission, it's that small little space that I have some control over and can basically do what I want within it. It's nice... but I'm looking forward to having a little more say over my living environment when I move out. I know it makes me sound like a control freak, but so much of day-to-day life is uncontrollable and unexpected, that having a steady and stable living environment really helps me relax.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

I had a weird experience with placing my "home" throughout my university years. When I was really young we lived in a few different houses that I barely remember, but from the ages of four to seventeen I lived in the same house. Then, two weeks before I moved away to university, my family moved. It wasn't across the country or anything, just to a different community on the south shore of Nova Scotia, but I didn't exactly have much time to settle in.

So through my first two years, when I lived in residence, there was this weird dichotomy where living on campus felt more like home because I had been there longer than in my parents' house. But it still seemed weird to call Halifax home, because it was this big crazy city, and all of the thing that I was from, that I felt like made me me, were back in the rural areas and small towns where I spent my childhood.

Then I moved out of residence into my first apartment with some of my best friends, and that was when I really started to feel comfortable in the city and come to accept that this was where I was going to be living for a while, and that that was okay.

These days I consider both places home. I've realized that home isn't just where you come from or where you live now. It's anywhere that makes you feel safe and loved and happy. And since it's possible for that to happen in more than one place, it's possible to have your home in more than one place.

Home is Movement and Pins in a Hijab

Time to talk about home.

I don't really consider home to be a specific place. I mean, I can't be a citizen of where I'm from but I never really feel like I'm from America even though it's my passport country. And you know, even when you just move around, to the next country or county, home changes. I consider home to be more of a feeling. Of peace and comfort, a kind of peace and comfort that you can't get anywhere else.

So when I think of home I think of traveling, home to me is being at piece an on the move. Car rides, sitting in the back of a truck in the pouring rain, new scenery, flying in a plane, hotel rooms. That all feels like home to me. Especially when it's with people I love.

Actually If I had to put home in a place, the best I could do is that I'd probably place home in the middle east or at least culture-wise, the food, the dress, I always feel nostalgic when I see a woman wearing a hijab, and for a while I've been considering beginning to where one myself because I absolutely love them, they're beautiful and just comfortable to me. And their origins are more in practicality for the weather and climate rather than any religion.

I'm going to start taking Arabic this coming semester, I'm really excited for it. It's already starting to make me feel like I'm closer to home and I haven't even started it yet.

So yeah, I don't have much to say, that's the best I could say about home. Can't wait to read what you all have to say!

- Sarah

The Themeless Week Became Themed

So I missed my post on Tuesday AND THEN I also missed our new make-up day on Saturday, but I figured I'd just be totally crazy and write my post on Sunday instead (and I promise I'll write another one this Tuesday!).

Just like the rest of you, I too am looking for work. I've had some interviews, some of them for jobs I really wanted, but unfortunately, nothing's panned out for me. I know a few other people around here who are still looking, so I know it's the job market that's bad, but that doesn't really make me feel a whole lot better. I have a degree and I can't even get someone to hire me for the summer! It's so frustrating.

Since my summer is nearly half over, I think that if I don't find anything in the next couple of weeks I'm just going to give up. I can find somewhere to volunteer instead so that at least I have something on my resume. I guess the good thing about still being in school is that I can always get more student loans. I'm already going to be in debt for the rest of my life, so a bit more isn't going to hurt, right?


Sigh.

Good luck to all of you in your job searches!

Not unemployed, but looking for work

I feel a little bad posting about this, since I already have a job. But it is the accidental theme...

So I have a job. I quite like it, for the most part I like the company, and the pay is great - $19 an hour! Except it's only for about 17 hours a week, and I drive an hour each way without reimbursement to do it. So that part's not great.

I picked up an extra job at Target, thinking they needed people, but they also only give me 9 hours a week at minimum wage. I like getting to be around people my own age and socializing since I've been in this city for 6 months and have only made 1 new friend (it's hard making new friends without school, work, or other friends in common!). I'm not so happy with the inconsistency in management; some days my performance is "horrible" and I'm dinged for rules I was never told, other days the exact same work by others is fine and we just get the hell out of there after closing.

So far I have two solutions: 1) my cousin recommended the company that she works with, and I've applied with her as a reference. It cuts my commute in half, and while it would also be very part time, if I'm willing to sub for other tutors (I totally am!) I could get moved up to full time within a month. Even better, it's based in a school so instead of driving back and forth all over, unless I was assigned to work in kids' houses, I would be able to go to one place and stay there for the whole day. I don't know if I can overstate how awesome that is to me; having a freezer/microwave for my lunch, not having to worry about my purse getting stolen out of my car, oh it would be fantastic.

If that doesn't work out, I'm going to get more serious about doing microtasks. I really like Amazon Mechanical Turk, since some of the similar services I've tried feel really... ick. I can't quite put my finger on it. It feels weird to get paid to show someone else using the same service messed up and removing their $.10-$.15. I may also be being arrogant because in one of those places I applied to be an editor, had to sort through a horribly translated Chinese-to-English business "about me" page where it often wasn't even clear what they were trying to saying, and I had my account suspended and payment revoked by a snarky worker who pointed out that I let a spelling error slip through (outilize instead of utilize). Annnyway, rant aside, Mechanical Turk is pretty cool, and I like that they often have lots and lots of the same kind of tasks so I can get into a groove. It's not a living, but I'd be happy if it paid for one of my many tanks of gas each month.

I don't mean to sound whiny here, I know there are lots of people that don't have any job at all, but I'm tired of working 7 days a week between the two jobs to have under 30 hours and be entirely unable to move out of my sister's house while still paying several hundred dollars in rent and utilities. Oh, and stressing out about my car breaking down because of all the miles I've put on it and it being required to earn an income. Since I have nowhere near enough savings to buy a solid used car or enough monthly income to pay a monthly payment, every little sound (even my water bottle hitting the seat) worries me like crazy.

Ok, breathe... breathe. Sometimes I need to not think about these things.

Will you pay me to this?

Looks like we may of stumbled onto an accidental theme this week as I'm also going to talk about my difficulty in finding a job.

Now that I've finished college there is no more money flowing into my account each month. Because I had a bursary I put off getting job during term time but now with about £50 in bank account I've had to start franticly looking. At the moment I'm willing to take just about anything including call centres.

Thus far I've unsuccessful. I realise the whole world is trying to get a job and if there is vacancy it's not around for long. There's also the problem of most jobs require previous experience but I can't get experience if can't get a job. It's a vicious circle. As well as that it also helps if you know someone who already works at the place you're applying to but even then it's not guaranteed to the job.

It's not totally hopeless I know. I've only been unemployed for two weeks or something. I just don't want to be a burden to my parents. I want to be able to go out and do fun stuff during the summer rather than sit inside all day.

Like Sarah I want to sell my art to make some money but then it will cost me some to do it which is rather annoying. I want to make some little artzines to sell online and in a cool little independent comic shop in the city.  But I'll need to see, it might not happen.

On a totally different note I'm still having trouble getting use to the blogger layout despite it being around for a while now.

If you want to do stuff, you need a job

Well, we kind of forgot to pick a theme this week so here I am writing about stuff.

So for the past couple weeks I have been busy as a bee. Why? Because I need a job and my mother won't stay out of my hair until I have been employed.

My last job as a barista was a lucky hit, they were fresh out of baristas at the Stop&Shop and I just happened the walk in the door at the right time. This fact is forever getting rubbed in my face as I wander the Cape Cod Mall filling out application after application. I have gotten one interview, which ended in unemployment and a slew of "Don't call us, we'll call you" statement variations.

For a place that is a major tourist destination, no one seems to need much extra help. But I guess that's what we have Bulgarians for. (No offense to any Bulgarians, it's just something I noticed at Stop&Shop that half the employees are from Bulgaria).

My mother doesn't really seem to care for all the psychological and social progress I've made just by looking for a job. Nor does the universe for that matter as I still am jobless. Previously I couldn't even walk up to a desk and ask for a piece of paper, other people had to order food for me or walk into a store next to me. I could barely do anything buy myself and now that I have been going to therapy and have started taking anxiety meds, I'm driving all over the place, talking to people about jobs, going to interviews and filling out applications. I talk without hesitation to people I've never met. I even fended off some guy hitting on me without breaking down. How is that for progress?

But somebody in the universe doesn't seem to care.

Heck I'm trying to find ways to attract commissions on DA, I'm practicing art like crazy on and off the computer even if I'm not uploading it. I want to start uploading some high quality original work.

I was even looking at starting an Etsy store for bracelets I know how to make. Which only reminded me of the things I want to be able to spend money on. Like corset sewing patterns because I really love steampunk and the Victorian era and conventions.

And now I'm off to go fill out more job applications! Wish me luck guys! I need it.

The one change that started the rest

A good chunk of my opinions have changed over the last few years; I grew up in a very religious and conservative family and mirrored those viewpoints until the second half of high school. I'll focus on the one where it all started.

I had never felt a disgust for LGBTQ people as it is sometimes seen in religious folk in the media, but to me it always seemed simple: it's wrong so they should just stop doing it, the way you'd encourage someone to stop stealing or stop eating McDonald's every day.

Near the end of my junior year of high school my boyfriend, R, came out as being gay. This forced me to acknowledge that here was someone I cared about and knew to be a good and reasonable person that was saying that this was what he is, he can't help it, and it's simply part of him.

It had been pretty obvious for awhile that R wasn't happy being in a relationship with me and was upset about something, it just wasn't clear what was going on. Then I imagined him suffering like that for the rest of his life: finding a wife, having to pretend in front of her, and not having someone he could confide in and be honest about his sexuality with. It was at that point that I realized I couldn't look him in the eye and tell him to simply "choose" to be straight.

Just as life changing was the aftermath from those around us, particularly the people I'd looked up to in the church. Our youth pastor, who had always been friendly to our little gaggle that went to church together, didn't even want to hear about R or how he was doing. My dad calmly asked me how many men R had sex with (which is insulting on several levels). I saw what it is like to be turned on by a church, how a group that had been so welcoming and friendly flipped and became aggressive.

Then I started noticing other things too - why were all the women relegated to either working with children or music? Why did everyone talk, dress, and act exactly the same, and anyone that was an outlier either eventually caved to fit the mold or became essentially an outcast? Why were we supposed to support laws that imposed our religious beliefs on others that might not hold the same beliefs? And I couldn't quite articulate this until Stuff Christian Culture Likes pointed it out, but why was there an emphasis on doing things rather than relationship?

This didn't all directly lead me to the beliefs I hold now, but it started the ball rolling. About a year and a half later I stood out on a busy street corner with R in our small, conservative town holding "No on Proposition 8" signs (this wanted to outlaw gay marriage in California. It passed, with lots of funding from Utah, but if I remember correctly has now been overturned and is entering the appeals process) which outed me as a political liberal to my family. Another three years later in 2011, I came out as agnostic to my friends, and eventually my family.

I am too stubborn

Okay, I've been trying to think of something all day, and I just can't come up of a good example of an opinion that I've changed, but it's soon time for bed, so I guess I'd better right something. I can be pretty stubborn, I guess (it's hereditary, honestly, everyone on my dad's side of the family is legendarily stubborn). I keep an open mind about important issues, and I guess some of my opinions on those have changed slightly over time, but mostly by becoming more nuanced as I gained a deeper understanding, nothing really that's been a complete reversal. On anything trivial, though, my opinions tend to get set in stone fairly quickly.

Really the only thing I can think of is food, which doesn't even really count because it's just my taste buds developing or whatever (I actually know nothing about how taste buds work or why that happens) and not an actual for real opinion, but it's the only thing I can think of at all. I used to be a really picky eater when I was a kid, but now I've learned to like a lot of the things I used to hate, including but not limited to: eggs, bananas, yogurt, cucumber, peppers, tomatoes (including any sort of tomato sauce, which made things like pasta and pizza a little difficult), grapefruit, and tofu. I think those are the major ones.

That was really short and boring, so since I missed free week last week, I'm going to use that to round this out. I haven't been up to very much lately - still looking for a summer job, unfortunately. I haven't been using the free time as well as I would like, but I have been getting in some writing and running and spending some time with friends, so it's not all bad. The only major change for me is that I've started writing and editing for an online magazine that some of my friends just launched. It's called Big Fat Future and it's pretty amazing (uh, I know how that sounds to say it about something I'm involved in, but really I haven't even done that much yet, I'm just so super proud of my friends for actually going for it and making this happen). It's about science fiction and has articles and reviews and creative pieces and sometime in the next few days the book/movie club will be launching, which is the thing I'm most excited about right now. It's kind of stressful since I don't actually know that much about science fiction, and I've never done any editing before, or this type of journalistic writing, but so far it's been pretty fun and I think I'll get used to things pretty quickly.

Anyway, I guess that's about it for me. Hope everyone has a fantastic week!

It flipped like tossed coin

It's Monday! Day of the Moon! But not the one whovians are thinking about because it's not 1969 or yeah maybe... I forget, HI!

So I'm going to talk about an opinion that has changed over time. The one I think was most significant in change was my opinion about Disney. I used to LIKE the movies occasionally as a child, but then I grew to hate them as I became more exposed to feminist ideas. I wanted to see more girls wearing pants and not ball gowns and strong woman who doesn't want a love interest and keeps not wanting love interest and a character who fights her own battles instead of waiting for prince charming to rescue her from that goddamned tower with a door that looks like it'd topple over if she nudged it.

I thought they were terrible movies and role models full of insidious subtle messages. Belle has an awful case of Stockholm syndrome even though I know her story doesn't belong to Disney and it is still my favorite. At least I recognize the issue in their relationship.

And you know what I still think they are bad role models. I still get peeved when side characters interrupt what could be a moving beautiful and serious scene with cheap comedy. For example, the gargoyles in The Hunchback of Notredame.

But now I recognize them more as fun movies. I love to sing the songs, I get a lot of the cheap comedy is for kids who won't know any better (which is still a horrible excuse for writing the cheap jokes) and there are references that only adults would get to make up for it (Frollo and that scarf).


I wouldn't have my hypothetical kids watch them until they were old enough to not be fully influenced by any gender role stereotype they may interpret from the movies. But I love them, I love watching them and singing with the characters and I would like to cosplay Belle.

I appreciate Disney for what it is when I used to boycott everything related to it. It's like a whole new world now.

Stuff Happened and I Just Graduated!

So a lot of things have been going on lately for me. Especially since my final year of secondary school has come to an end. I am about to bombard you with topics now.

Last week was prom, which was a wonderful event, far better than last year's where I got sick and had to leave. They played mostly rap music, which was not very appealing but it was made up for by the fact that I got to wear the poofiest dress ever and my best friend Toria got to go with me. As usual the food was awful and the water tasted of all the minerals and toxins you could possibly get out of a tap. But there was a chocolate fountain and I voted for Harold Saxon as Prom Queen. Despite all the things that aren't great at prom, getting to hang out with some of the best people in the world really makes up for it.

After-prom then consisted of playing Apples to Apples, making cake and sleeping in odd and painful-in-the-morning positions on the couch at my friend Emily's house. I love how tame our parties are compared to what media thinks we do at after-prom.

Thursday this week was the Senior Trip, we went out to Boston and hung out at Faneuil Hall Marketplace. I got bubble tea there, I absolutely can't stand bubble tea and the first time I ever had it I thought someone had put fish eyes in it. I still call them fish eyes and I like to get it now just because of the nostalgia of my first time having it.

Also, FINGER PUPPET TROTSKY! I walked around with him everywhere. I looked for a Stalin one so that they could have political puppet debates, but making a Stalin puppet would be worse than making a Hitler puppet, so I'm not surprised that there weren't any.

Oh, SL History, what have you done to me? I have decided that I have learned too much communist history over the past two years.

We then went on a short cruise where we stood next to the Harwich school seniors who were dressed in suits and the shortest neon color dresses I have ever seen, while we were in sweaty jeans and tees. Lovely contrast.

Something I thought was interesting happened on the cruise as well. All of us Sturgis students literally evacuated  for the upper decks because the Harwich students became very rude and loud on the dance floor. But that didn't stop me from trying to have fun. I ended up teaching another girl how to tango, at least the basic steps of it so that we could invade the rap music downstairs with something classy when some Harwich students decided to make a comment along the lines of "Ew, Sturgis is full of lesbians."

I had three reactions, first confusion, second annoyance, third trolling. Sturgis has been such an open and accepting school that I completely forgot that homophobia to any degree existed. I was confused as to why two girls dancing with each other having a good time suddenly made us lesbians. Thirdly my friend Emily decided to react by creating a polygamous lesbian relationship, to which we added multiple people throughout the cruise, and I decided to tango with as many girls as possible because they are my friends and dancing shouldn't automatically bring into question our sexualities.

Finally, yesterday was my high school graduation! It was held outside by the harbor since we have neither a gymnasium or other venue large enough, we have two hallways, we're tiny. We all wore navy blue caps and gowns. I waited forever for all the speakers to finish their hour long speeches.

Have you ever noticed how whenever there are speeches involved the listeners are always trying not to fall asleep, the people who make speeches try not to fall asleep when they are made to listen I bet too, so why not have mercy on us all and cut to the chase already?

Our executive director talked most of all, mostly about school rank, the atrocity of a new school that they are building, himself and least of all the graduating class. He made a speech before and after every speaker and lord he is the worst speaker of them all.

Finally we got to the actual diplomas, which I rejoiced at, and our names were all called alphabetically row by row. And if you want to talk about procrastination, we waited until this very moment to pull our senior prank. Sturgis has a tradition of signing into a ship's log as a freshman and signing out of the log as a senior at the end of the metaphorical voyage, our assistant director, Mr. Marble manned the book. It was a small prank but we decided to play on his name. All ninety-one of us carried a marble secretly and as we all went up to sign the book and shake his had he started getting left with marbles. Another student left him a jar as a mercy and all throughout the giving of diplomas and signing there was the constant clink of another marble falling into Mr. Marble's jar. We thought it was hilarious, everyone else was confused.

I then went out to dinner with my friend Toria and we ate cream puffs as big as your face! It was incredible and I felt quite fat afterward. She gave me this lovely silver starfish necklace that I absolutely adore.

So that's been the past two weeks. I'm done with high school now. I guess I'm officially a college student now? I'm not quite sure, but I'm happy and excited. Leaving Sturgis doesn't bother me, a lot of those people I wasn't close enough to in order to really miss them and the ones I am close to will stay in tough and hang out with me. Most of us are going to colleges that all happen to be near-ish to each other so visiting will never be a problem. I'm ready.

Snuff - Terry Pratchett

I know I've recommended Terry Pratchett's books in general before, but I thought I'd talk about one in particular this time (I'm reading another book that I also like a lot, but since I haven't finished it I don't feel ready to recommend it yet).

One of the reasons I love Terry Pratchett's Discworld universe is that you can drop in on any book and understand it; if you'd read previous ones you'll recognize the characters and know some backstory which makes it more familiar, but it's not requisite knowledge.

The City Watch books are by far my favorite of the entire series, and Snuff doesn't disappoint. It's like fantasy CSI but trade the fancy technology for biting wit. The story kept me guessing without feeling frustrating or like it was purposefully being obtuse, and the politics and innuendo are a clever addition that makes it feel more realistic - of course a head of state (or rather, benevolent tyrant) couldn't tell a police chief to go do certain things.... but if he happens to get the gist of it and do it on his own...

And of course there's his manservant Willikins, the picture of a perfect and polite servant, while also possessing Batman-like talents for psychological warfare and use of everyday tools as weapons, and none of the rules about not killing people.

Overall, the book is hilarious, dramatic, mysterious, and just great fun. I hope you enjoy it!

My book recommendation

The book I'm going to recommend is Anya's Ghost by Vera Brosgol. This is actually a graphic novel but I'm hoping this counts.

This book is so wonderful. I loved the style of the artwork and colouring. The pacing is fantastic. The main character is Anya, a Russian immigrant to America. She feels like she doesn't fit in at her school. After falling down a well she becomes friends with a ghost. Which had it's perks to start with but takes a strange and terrifying turn.

One of the best things about this book is it really is very relatable to (not the befriending a ghost part), like you can imagine what it's like to be Anya. To feel disconnected. Or be the odd one out and just trying to fit in with everyone else at schoo, it's kind of how I felt whilst being at school.It all makes Anya just feel very real.

Basically just read it! It's a perfect book, it's dark and creepy and just beautiful. Plus there's a quote from Neil Gaiman on front, he knows his stuff.

Sorry this wasn't a very good post I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things.

I really ought to have just bought pudding

I went through all the trouble to try to make custard, and when that worked out, make pudding, and then discovered that my audio was off. ARGH. But I still did it! Please excuse the quality, this is the first actual video I've ever made with the intent of showing someone else.

Maybe I should have picked truth

The TIme For Lies Has Ended

START MONDAY NIGHT, POST TUESDAY MORNING
TIMING, I HAVE IT.

So I was going to choose a dare option, I really liked peanut butter face, but I don't have peanut butter at home. So while I was holding a jar of frosting I was previously eating and a jar of Nutella I would never eat, trying to decide between them and my brother was setting up the video camera, my folks came home.

And no way was I going to cover myself in sugar and/or liquified nut based product in front of them. The camera was quickly replaced and the jars shoved to the back of the fridge.

So I believe I'll be spilling some secrets to you all.

The only thing I can think of that I'm actively trying to hide from people is my reading selection.

 I tend to make a big show of being superstitious about books, just so people won't ask what I'm reading. Saying that I can't tell people what I'm reading while I'm reading it because if I do it might turn out to be a bad book.

 I prefer to read on my Kindle because I don't want people to be able to see the titles and especially the covers. Unfortunately when you read on a Kindle people are more likely to ask what it is you're reading.
The conversation goes a little like this.

Person: Hey, whatcha reading?

Me: A book.

Person: What book?

Me: A good one.

And either they'll realize I'm not going to tell them which specific book I'm reading, or more often they'll continue to press me for more information. For me this is really uncomfortable because I am typically ashamed of what I'm reading.

I always say, "Oh no, I hate romance books." I act really uncomfortable about the genre partly because I'm ashamed to like them and partly because I feel people probably won't understand why I like them if I have such major anxiety issues regarding relationships.

So yeah, I really like urban fantasy and paranormal romance, and I read them rather frequently. And mystery romances too.

I'm not sure if this is a major secret that counts for this. But I'm constantly afraid of being judged for what I read because the genre that have romance as a common feature tend to get a bad reputation. They're considered lesser literature and "mommy porn". But when from what I've read, there's just as many amazing stories as there are bad stories that you would find in any genre romance or not. It's just that not everyone else realizes it so I feel like I have to hide it from everyone.

But here, I'm coming out of the closet about it.