Tuesday, November 8, 2011

I guess it's a good thing my parents like me.

I would describe myself as stubborn.  I consider this both a good and bad thing.  The same goes for the fact that I am a huge introvert.  I am easily overwhelmed, easily upset, and overly anxious.  I am absolutely horrid at making decisions.  I would almost always rather listen than talk, but when I do talk I want people to be listening, I hate being interrupted and I really hate repeating myself.  I used to be a perfectionist but it was too stressful so now I'm just a slacker.   Except really I'm still a perfectionist who doesn't bother trying which is the same as being a slacker who feels guilty all the time.  I tend not to enjoy doing things I'm bad at, and I don't take criticism very well.   I feel like I'm still looking for my place in the world, and I just don't quite fit properly anywhere.  As is somewhat evident from this list, I tend to be a  hard on myself and don't think I have very many positive traits.  I'm pretty good at being happy most of the time, I guess.

My best friend has told me on several occasions that I have "the patience of a saint."  I've also been described as a 'silly catalyst' because as soon they're around me they start doing ridiculous things.  Also probably that I'm pretty silly myself.  I'm generally pretty agreeable about doing whatever other people want to do.  I think they would also say I can be a little distant at times, and I'm not super great at keeping in touch.  And I can be a little whiny at times.

For the 'enemy' portion, I'm going to go with "things an ex-boyfriend said in post-breakup emails" (and some things he didn't say but I think were evident from the way I acted, so they were probably implied), since that's pretty much the nearest thing I have to an enemy.  I run away from my problems.  I don't like talking about my emotions, and I if I'm trying to avoid telling people something I think will hurt them, I will push them away in a way that only ends up hurting them more.  I am bad at taking responsibility for my actions.  I say hostile things without thinking it through and then try to apologize for them later.  If I'm mad at someone or I am trying to avoid them, I tend to make them feel worthless.

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