How To La

I think we're doing how-to blogs this week. Well, this is going to be a challenge considering I don't know how to do anything. I just do things and hope they won't result in death, serious injury, or awkward and embarrassing moments that will be ingrained into memory perpetually.

Hopefully I can find something to fill this post with.

So I can write about how not to do things like how not to clean your room. Or how not to be productive. I could talk about how not to do an Axel in figure skating, I'm quite good at not doing that. I could, however, tell you how to make all of the drinks in Starbucks exactly, but I'm pretty sure I'd get in some sort of trouble for that.

I think I'll talk about how to successfully not be productive. Number one, think a lot about a title or name if you're writing something. Once you have one, keep thinking about it. Like what I'm talking about now, how to not be productive. That sounds pretty negative, it needs to change and sound a bit more positive. "How to Lazy"? It has poor grammar, thus showing a lack of will to put effort into even the title, only a true procrastinator would come up with it.

Secondly, don't just rethink, take the time to justify rethinking your subject, title, or theme. An example of this is the previous paragraph.

Third, redundancy. Redundancy is a great way at allowing your mind to wander off and not have to truly work. Redundancy can help your writing look a bit fuller, while it may make the reader feel annoyed or bored, it looks nice from a distance.

Next, you can always just talk about whatever you're doing/working on without actually doing it. This let's you have the great feeling of being productive without actually having to work. You can see this used in the first three paragraphs of the post.

Lastly, Facebook. I'm not sure if I have to explain that one. I hate Facebook and despite that, I get distracted for hours by it.

In the end, you've waited until the last minute and have done nothing of value. Another example, it is Monday night and this post's draft just autosaved at 11:55 PM.

Those techniques, if you can call them that, don't just work for writing, they can work for anything.

But please don't do them. We all know what the stress feels like when we've waited too long. And we all know what it's like to do something and realize that it could have been so much better if you had just put some more time into it. We know the resulting stress or disappointment isn't worth the goof time and yet we can still find ourselves procrastinating, even though the feeling of accomplishment that comes with being productive and getting things done right is just as good if not better.

^ RUN-ONS I need to learn how to not make them.

Hi, I'm going to be gone now until July 6th, so I won't make the next one or two Mondays.